As I mentioned before, Tanner and I are new to this parenting thing. I'm the oldest in my family so I had some experience coming into it as far as changing a diaper here and there and making up a bottle using formula. I've also baby sat several times, for not only my parents, but other families. And Tanner has a couple of nieces and nephews that he had helped take care of from time to time. But none of that prepared us for parenthood.
Because Titan was in the NICU for the first three weeks, it was almost like we hadn't had a baby. Going home without him was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I am pretty sure I cried ten times by the time we went back up to visit him and then anytime I wasn't up there with him I felt guilty that I was somewhere my baby wasn't. The other side to that was we had him but he wasn't home so we were still able to go to sleep when we wanted and to sleep through the night.
The first night we brought him home we were full of excitement and constant concern at every little noise he made. After the third night, there wasn't anymore concern about his noises. The concern was who is going to get up with him this time. In the middle of the night after six or seven days of not getting any sleep you begin to say things to your partner you don't ever mean and then you get up in the morning and say, "I'm really sorry about last night. I can't believe I said that." And the other person smiles and says, "it's ok and I know why you said it neither of us has slept." Then the next morning you'd switch roles.
We both knew we weren't going to be getting our eight blissful hours of sleep. But we were completely unprepared for how little we would get and we feel like we have a good baby. In reality if your baby is waking up every three hours to eat, that means you might get five hours of sleep. Because they get up you spend an hour feeding/changing diaper/getting them back to sleep. Then it takes you 30 minutes to get back into a restful sleep and they are up an hour and a half later ready to start the party all over again. But when you look at your sweet little boy sleeping away you realize nothing in the world could be better than this and they are totally worth the not sleeping.
Not only had we underestimated how little of sleep we were actually going to get, but we'd also underestimated the amount of diapers we go through. Everyone tells you oh plan on at least 8 diapers a day. Maybe later in life it might be 8 but I am here to tell you that is only if you change them once at every feeding. Maybe my Titan is a super pee-er/pooper but we change his diaper before he eats and what do you know he won't fall back asleep because he has made a mess in that one too. I had purchased 3 packages of newborn diapers and 2 size one diapers. I felt pretty good about that. We were them given a package and a half from the hospital and 3 miscellaneous ones given as gifts. In his almost four weeks home we have gone through all 6 newborn given to usas gifts plus two I have bought from the store. So be prepared!
Feeding is another story too. Because he was in the NICU his requirements to come home were to eat all of his bottle every three hours for eight feedings. For a baby who hadn't eaten by himself until he was one a half weeks old that is quite the task. We tried breast feeding but he spent a lot of his energy doing that and then he couldn't finish his bottle. Because of this Tanner and I decided we just wanted him home and could work on breast feeding then. He has been home for almost a month and we still aren't super successful with breast feeding. At first I felt really guilty about this and everyone kept saying oh its so important you do that and have you been able to yet. I was feeling like a bad mom because I was just pumping and then we'd give him what I'd pump because he would get so frustrated and mad that we couldn't get anything going. Now that we are almost to the seven weeks old mark I'm not worried about it and I'm not letting people make me feel bad for what I'm doing. And I even have to supplement him with formula sometimes because he wants to eat so much and I can't stay ahead of him. All of this is working for us because he its gaining weight like he needs to and I figure maybe one day he'll get it figured out and if he doesn't it's ok because as my so wise mother said to me "who cares because eventually we all drink from a cup."
So for any soon-to-be moms out there or future moms my advice to you is...even if you think you are prepared for your baby you most likely aren't and that is ok I don't think anyone ever is, stock up on diapers galore because the last thing you want is to run out of diapers, and lastly do what you feel is right and best for your baby after all you are the only one who he calls mom and don't let anyone make you feel bad our guilty about your choices :)
